Ask anyone what kind of sex they want to have, and they’ll tell you they want “great sex.” Yet, not everyone can define what “great sex” means to them and there’s a very good reason for this. They don’t understand their bodies enough. They don’t know the way their body reacts and why it reacts the way it does to certain stimuli. They don’t know what techniques work best on themselves and their partners. Some might not even be aware of what their erogenous zones are. It’s going to be hard to have “great sex” unless you know your body well enough inside at out.
So let’s get to know your body better:
Your Erogenous Zones
Essentially, these are the areas of your body with lots of nerve endings that get you aroused or excited when they’re touched in the right way. The biggest erogenous zones in the body for most people are the vagina, penis, vulva, labia, clitoris, prostate, perineum, anus, and the scrotum. Out of these, it is generally the clitoris and the penis that are the most sensitive zones. Everyone’s body is different, and for some, their erogenous zones might their neck, butt, breasts, thighs, feet, mouth, and nipples. To find out which areas excite you the most, you need to experiment until you hit the sweet spot (or your partner does).
The Sex Cycle
This describes the way that your body reacts when it is sexually stimulated. This cycle could either happen alone or with your partner. The sex cycle happens in several stages. The first stage is desire, where thinking sexual thoughts begins to arouse and excite you, getting your body primed and ready for sex. The second stage of the cycle is the plateau stage, and you’re fully aroused by this point, ready to either have sex or masturbate. The third and final stage of the cycle is the orgasm phase when all that sexual tension that has been building up is finally released and your body convulses with pleasure.
Explore Your Body
It’s time to get intimate with yourself if you haven’t done that already. Before you can understand what turns you on, you need to give yourself an anatomy lesson. Learn to please your body through self-stimulation and exploration. It’s okay to be nervous about this in the beginning, touching yourself intimately in that way may feel strange and unfamiliar at first. Take your time exploring yourself thoroughly, so you know what turns you on and what causes discomfort. Our understanding of our bodies affects your mindset and the more comfortable you are with your body, the easier it will be to succumb to the pleasure when you’re with your lover.
Sexual stimulation doesn’t need to happen to experience an orgasm. Most couples would be surprised to know this. There are a few ways to define what an orgasm means. Medical professionals think of it as the physiological change that the body undergoes. Psychologists see it as your body experiencing cognitive and emotional changes. At the moment, there’s no overarching description that succinctly depicts what an orgasm means, but what we do know is that it feels extremely good when it happens. Orgasms have a few categories too. Multiple orgasms, G-spot orgasms, fantasy orgasms, relaxation orgasms, tension orgasms, and a combination of the different experiences coming together. Which one you experience depends on the context in which it is happening.
Sexuality is a constant state of exploration. Depending on how comfortable you are and how long you’ve been in a relationship, you’ll be curious, pushing your boundaries and exploring just how far you can go. We evolve and grow with time, and so does our sexuality. It’s not a permanent state of being. It’s a work in progress, one that you must give yourself time to adjust to. Your body is a source of pleasure and it is time you got to know that.