For one thing, afterplay should not be used as an opportunity for you to conduct a postmortem on the sex you just had. If something was lacking or made you uncomfortable, you should discuss it later. Please don’t bring up anything that might sound remotely negative or like criticism when your partner is vulnerable. There is a right time and place for everything, and a sexual postmortem is not on the agenda if you’re looking for better after-play sessions.
Afterplay is not the time you should be sharing your sexual grievances either. Obsessing what you think went “wrong” or what “could have been better” will only make you and your partner feel worse about yourselves. What you should be talking about instead is everything that you enjoyed. Keep it light, playful, warm, and accepting. Hence, your partner feels comfortable enough to share what they loved about having sex with you that they otherwise feel shy talking about.
Other ways to enhance your after-play experiences include:
- Not Talking About Problems – Discussing your issues is best left to another time, not when your partner is trying to bask in the warm and happy glow of the lovemaking you just had.
- Tell Them How You Feel – Pour your heart out to your partner. This is the best time to tell them everything you want them to know about your feelings. Tell them you love them, how much they mean to you, how you would do anything for them, and how your life has become so much better ever since they became a part of it. Talk about what you love about having sex with them, and reinforce the love and care so they do not doubt that this relationship is built on more than just great sex alone.
- Massage Each Other – The intimate, skin-to-skin contact is a great bonding activity for both partners. Nothing like a good massage to induce feelings of deep relaxation, and the sensual touch that takes place helps to strengthen the bond of intimacy and trust.
- Kiss Each Other – You did a lot of kissing while making love, but it was different. Those kisses were filled with fiery passion, lust, heat, and hormones. On the other hand, the kisses you share during after-play are warm, exuding love, slow, intimate, and unhurried. With every kiss you share, you communicate what your partner means to you without words.
- Take A Shower Together – If you want to leave the bed almost immediately, why not do it together and hit the shower simultaneously? You got dirty together; now it’s time to get clean together. All the interplay suggestions that have been discussed so far and be incorporated into this activity. When massaging the shampoo on each other’s scalp or lathering soap all over your lover’s bodies, massage them, kiss them, hold them close, talk to each other, and laugh together.